Sunday Sunday!

I can't believe another weekend is over and done with!?

We had a really relaxing weekend - yesterday we nipped into town to take some bits back, and then we got a Chinese take away and watched Seven Pounds (that's a weird film...). Today my friend H took me out for birthday Sunday lunch. So, from a food perspective, it's not been great, but from a relaxation / socialising weekend it's been great!

I was waiting for Mr B outside of a shop yesterday, though, and was people watching a bit... I was stood there, without a scrap of make up on, in an anorak, with my hair looking an absolute state, watching women with thick make up, high heels and looking super-glamorous walking past and I started feeling distinctly...dowdy. But, when I thought about it a bit more, I realised that I really can't be bothered - I'd much rather be out living my life, than making myself look good for it. I don't have the time (nor the inclination!) to spend time applying perfect make up, or styling my hair so it's "just so".

I make the effort when I need to (or when I can be bothered!) and that's what it's important to me.



I've spoken to the Kenyan Embassy, and all is fine! I will be allowed in! Phew!!

Now I can REALLY start getting excited about the holiday, which, for me, means getting organised about it! I like lists. I'm a list person. I'll write lists of: things we need to do, things we need to buy and things we need to pack. Might do that tonight. Or this weekend, at least...

This weekend has officially been deemed "Birthday weekend", and I don't know what I'm doing - Mr B's in charge of the plans - so I might not be in touch until Sunday / Monday.

Have a great weekend!

It's F..F...Friday!

I'm feeling much, much better now, so that's a good thing. However, I have passed it on to Mr B, who is feeling particularly sorry for himself at the moment - he's taken today off as sick leave.

I wish I had. It's the last day of the month, and that means it's Target Time. We're £15k off of target at the moment, and that's the healthiest things have been for about 2 years. You'd expect the office to be full of people, doing everything they can do bring in the contracts and help us hit target. Luckily, they've all emailed me with a list of things to do to help them get their commission. I am totally pissed off - they haven't considered what work I might have to do, or that there's no one in the office (there are 3 of us here today) to answer the phones - they've just assumed it will get done. So annoying.

Enough about work though. Mr B and I have started to get a bit excited about our holiday... It's still 2 months away, but I have a feeling it's going to come around really quick! We got married in November, and although we had a week away at the time, it wasn't our "real" honeymoon. We were very lucky to get to go to Prague, but had decided we wanted a once-in-a-lifetime trip, too, and could afford to do it straight after the wedding.
Anway, we're off to Kenya in May for just over 2 weeks. The first week, we'll be on Safari in the Masai Mara, and the second week is a week of total relaxation at a luxury tented retreat. I can't wait.
However, I was looking into the Visas we need to be able to go yesterday, and I'm in a little bit of a panic. The forms say that you have to have a passport that's been valid for 3 months... I only changed the name on mine at the beginning of this month, so it's going to be just short of that. I'm really worried they're going to make me do an about-turn when I get there and make me come home!
I'm going to call the Kenyan Embassy today and find out what I need to do - in reality, people must get married / change their names all the time, so how do they get round it!? There must be a way!

Right, I'm off. Spose I should go and get on with everyone else's work, really... !!


On the mend

I've got a voice! I'm not convinced it's MY voice, but it's more of a voice than I had yesterday! I still feel pretty rubbish, but that can't be helped. I went to bed at 8pm last night, and slept all the way through to this morning again. I think it'll be the same again tonight, too.

Mr B's loving it, cos it means he can watch what he wants, or play PS3, without worrying that I'm going to nag at him for not spending time with him.

Work's been manic today. (I'm such a hypocrite - I'm manic, yet blogging. Hey ho!). We're exhibiting at Confex this week, so it's skeleton staff in the office, and the phones have been pretty busy. I haven't done half of the stuff I wanted to get done this week, yet we're more than half way through the week!

I'm looking forward to the weekend, though. It's my birthday next Tuesday (eek!) so Mr B and I are going shopping on Saturday for my present, and then to dinner and the cinema as an early birthday treat. Then I'm going for Sunday lunch with my friend H which will be lovely, and I'm very much looking forward to it!

Anyway, need to do work.


P.S. I'm quite enjoying this blogging malarky. I know I'm not writing anything particularly thought provoking ot life changing, but I really think it makes a differecet to me which is the important thing, right?!? And I'm sure it's going to get more useful to have an outlet like this the tougher things get.



Well, the cold is getting worse, and I've lost my voice, too!!

Much to the amusement of my colleagues, I'm predominantly squeaking at them, and sound like I'm about to burst into tears at any point. On the plus side, it doesn't hurt. Having said that, I am really bunged up, and have used a whole box of mansize tissues today. Ridiculous.

I tried a ginger concoction last night (and again this morning) which seemed to help a bit, but I am using Sudafed, too, so I'm not sure. I was in bed at 7 last night, and asleep by 8pm, having had a Cheeseburger Happy Meal for dinner. I had Jambalaya at lunch time, and think I'm going to have pancakes for tea. I know it's not good for me, but it's what I fancy, so what can I do?!

I'm supposed to be at an exhibition on Thursday, but if I've got no voice, can't go. That's going to put the cat amongst the pigeons, cos I won't be able to answer the phones in the office, either...!


Another week starts!

Monday always seems to come round too quickly, doesn't it!?

And, worse than that, I feel rubbish. I'm full of cold today - I was absolutely fine until about 4pm yesterday, when I started to feel like I might be starting to get a cold. And this morning I woke up full of it. Nasty. I've taken some tablets, but I'm also trying out some "natural" remedies, too.
My dad always swears by boiled lemonade, so I tried that last night. No joy, obviously, but I'll try again tonight. I've had a couple of mugs of honey and lemon today, and I'm going to get a piece of ginger tonight to try a recipe that I've found online.

I bloody hate being ill - I'm a bit of a man / moaner about it all, I'm afraid. I end up feeling all sorry for myself, and I'm not very nice to be around at all!

This week's going to be manic, too - the company I work for are exhibiting at Earls Court this week, and pretty much everyone is going to be out of the office for the next 3 days, which means I'm needed here to hold the fort. Brilliant - just what I need!


We scrub up alright!!

Well, mum and I went for the makeover / photo shoot yesterday. It was a really lovely day, although long! We were there for nearly 5 hours, and 4 of that was sitting around waiting!! It was a little bit frustrating, as our appointment was at 11.30, and we'd thought we'd be done by 1pm. As it was, that wasn't the case - we were in the place until 2 without a break. I had to nip out and get a granola bar while we sat waiting around some more... by the time we got to have food it was 4pm! It was a nightmare!

BUT! The photos look amazing. They were ludicrously priced - but I managed to negotiate 8 photos for the price of 3!

Here's a couple for you to nosey at!


I'm back from the doctors (oh, and can you tell I'm "working" from home! Ha!)

It didn't go nearly as badly as I'd anticipated. My weight has stayed the same, which obviously isn't as good as losing, but isn't as bad as gaining, either! She wants me to stay as I am on all my tablets, because I mentioned that I'm struggling to find motivation and feel "a bit pants" at the moment. She (rightly) said that it would be silly to lessen my antidepressants if I'm feeling like that, so to continue as I am. Not great, but also not as bad as upping them again.

Now that's out of the way, I can look forward to my weekend! I'm seeing my mum tomorrow, for the first time since Christmas, and can't wait. It's going to be really fun, too as we've got a photo session together. Not something that either of us would usually go for, but we won a competition. Basically, we got collared by one of those people on the streets that want to ask you questions, and I was in too good a mood to say "go away" (I'd just been for my first wedding dress fitting!) so we did it. Didn't think anything of it until we received a phone call on the eve of my wedding to say we'd won!
So, that's tomorrow - we get our hair and make up done, and have lots of piccies taken. It will probably cost us a fortune to buy them (or they'll make us look like a pair of hookers!) but we'll see what happens! Depending on how they turn out, I may even put a couple on here!

Mum will then stay with us tomorrow night, before we take her back home on Sunday, and see my brother. I can't wait. Weirdly, it's my brother I miss the most. We used to fight like cat and dog when I lived at home, but now I don't live with him, we get on much better. And I miss him more than my mum because I rarely speak to him, but speak with my mum at least twice a week. My brother was 16 when I left home, and will turn 21 in June. Every time I see him I'm struck by how much more of a man he is. He's not a little boy anymore, and I'm very proud of him.

Anyway, I should pretend to do a bit more work for another half hour or so, and then I'm heading off to enjoy and evening of R&R - I'm home alone tonight as Mr B is on a work night out. Luckily, he's driving, so I don't need to worry about what sort of state he'll be in when he gets back!

I'll post on Sunday, probably, but don't hold it against me if I don't get round to it till Monday!


Oh my goodness!

How can the Sales Manager at my place of work still not know how to do a fundamental part of his job, 18 months after joining the company?!

It's D Day

So, today's the day I'm off to the Doctors. Really trying not to worry about it, but easier said than done. Ridiculous really.

Had a really lovely meal out last night with a friend who I haven't seen properly since May, so it was nice to catch up and tell her about things at the moment. Having said that, I feel like I did most of the talking and it wasn't all that light-hearted. Must email to apologise...

Anyway, i told her about how I'm feeling frustrated with work and everything else and she's offered to look at my CV and have a think about anywhere she knows of that I could try to apply for something. I'm really excited about the opportunity to try something new, so who knows what will happen!

I'm working from home today (although not very hard so far!) so I might do a bit of sneaky job searching too...

Will probably be back after the docs, too!



I've got an appointment at the doctors tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. I weighed myself last night in preparation, and it appears that I've GAINED half a stone since I last saw her. Considering I'm supposed to be losing weight, that's not great.

Having said that, my main reason for losing weight was to encourage AF to arrive, and she did, so maybe I should focus on that? Who knows what she'll say though - I'm a bit scared!

I'm coming off my anti depressants at the moment, too, and I'm a bit worried that I shouldn't be. I've been really fed up this week, although mainly with work. I've had enough of people in the office turning up at 10am, hungover and doing hardly any work. Or being in the office and calling around Estate Agents to organise viewings for houses / flats. I'm working a 50 hour week at the moment, and I've been told that I can't have one day a week to work from home, yet other people are getting away with that. I want to stamp my feet like a small child and claim that "It's not fair".

On the plus side, I'm out for dinner tonight with an ex colleague, and I'm really looking forward to a nice meal, great chat and couple of glasses of vino (which won't help when I step on the scales tomorrow, I'm sure!!).

Anyway, I'm at risk of being a hypocrite re: my work-related rant, so should get on! ;)



Happy Valentines Day

Well, I'm finally feeling better, which is a good thing.

And, what's even better is that AF arrived on Friday. That's only 6 weeks after the last time I had a visit, and 3 times in the last 12 months. For me, that's like, regular!! I'm hoping this is the start of things to come - it would certainly make trying for babies easier, anyway!!!!

So, Valentines Day. Not something Mr B and I really celebrate. His birthday was only a couple of days ago, and mine's only a couple of weeks away, so we've never really celebrated. Plus, it's so commercialised. And expensive. Having said that, Mr B let me have a lovely lie in this morning before bringing me breakfast in bed. I did have a couple of hours of ironing to do, though. And then we had a lovely dinner, and bottle of wine (in fact, I'm a bit worse for wear at the moment...)

I really need to get back on track with the diet, though. It's ridiculous now - I know exactly what I need to do, and I'm just not doing it. I'm back at the Drs on Friday, and I know I won't have lost any weight, and I'm probably going to get in trouble. We go on our honeymoon in 11 weeks, and the whole plan is to start properly TTC, but if I don't shift some weight soon, it's never going to happen (and I won't look very nice in my swim suit, either!). Mr B and I were talking about the gym the other day - I know I need to be goinga t the weekend, and at least twice during the week, but by the time I get home from work, I just don't have the energy. I'm already out of the house for 11 hours of the day, so can I cope with another hour out, too?

I need to do it though, and should stop the bloody excuses!!!


Happy Valentines Day

Well, I'm finally feeling better, which is good.

And, what's even better, is that AF arrived on Friday night. Most people wouldn't see that as comething to celebrate, but then it's only been 6 weeks for me, which is the closest thing to regular I've been for, well... forever! That means it's been 3 times in the last 12 months. Woohoo!! Fingers are firmly crossed that this the start of things to come.... It would make baby-making easier, anyway!!!


Slowly on the mend!

Well, this is my second day back at work, and I feel much better. I still feel like I could sleep for a week, but I'm no-where near as dizzy as I was. I think I probably came back to work a bit soon - II fell asleep during a 1-2-1 with the MD yesterday. Not a great start to being back in the office!

The diet has totally gone out of the window because I'm giving my body what it wants, in a hope it'll make me feel better. Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I've also got a day off tomorrow, for Mr B's birthday. We're hopefully going to Bicester Village for the day, if I feel up to it. Really looking forward to a bit of a lay in, and a nice day out with him. Feel a bit bad though - I've been so ill I haven't managed to buy him a card, let alone a present!! I'll order a moonpig one this avo and hope it gets here in time... And treat him while we're shopping tomorrow. Result!



Well, I've been ill since last Wednesday. Really, really dizzy - it's been horrible. I've not been able to go to work. I've been to the doctors today, and had a whole load of tests done - blood sugars are fine, blood pressure is fine, heart is fine (I've had an ECG). The only other thoughts the doctor had was that's it's a virus, or I was pregnant.

I've done 3 tests since Wednesday, and it's not the latter. So it's a virus.

Today, when I got back from the doctors and did a test, I was really, really scared. I want a baby so very much, but I was still absolutely petrified. Mr B and I are going on a holiday (actually, our honeymoon) in May - and I wouldn't be able to go away if there was a baby in my belly. How selfish is that??

But, it was a negative result and, for the first time, I was relieved that it was a negative. I know there are plenty of negative results to come, that will break my heart, but this one was a relief.


Hmm... not good at this

So, it turns out I'm not very good at regularly blogging. Must try harder.

Well, I gained a pound and a half on Saturday, which was a shame, but not unexpected. I've been really good since, sticking to 1200 calories. Up till today. I feel pretty rubbish today, and as a result can't stop eating. I feel really giddy (especially when I stand up), my head feels too heavy for my body and I feel really numb... I've eaten a BLT sandwich, a Yorkie Bar, a bag of Doritos, an apple, a satsuma, and I'm currently tucking in to a bit of Toblerone. Don't know what that's all about, but I'm definitely headed straight for my bed when I get home, to see if I need some sleep!

I've also just enquired about acupuncture to help with my periods, and TTC. My friend C says it's great, and worth every penny, but I'm not sure. Having said that, I'm prepared to give anything a go! (hmm... I wonder if it can help me lose weight, too?...) It's pretty pricey, though - £50 for the initial consultation, and £40 for every appointment after that.

Anyway, that's where I'm at now!