Have you tried...

I've always been really honest with people about my PCOS and how it affects me.

It hasn't really occurred to me that it wouldn't be the same when we started on the baby making path. Mr B would probably prefer that I didn't talk to our friends about it (although he knows I do), but so long as I don't talk abou tit to them in front of him, he's ok about it.

What has amazed me about it has been some of the comments that I've had about it from people that I thought would know better.

For example, my mum text me to say "[My colleague] who has PCOS said to try Agnus Castus and Evening Primrose...".
Thanks Mum. I've tried that.

Another friend text me to tell me that her friend (who has PCOS) is pregnant for the second time and she used the fertility friend app. Maybe I should give that a go.
Thanks buddy. I subscribed 2 years ago.

I think people forget that, although we're only just starting to get the doctors involved, we have been trying this for a while. Over 2 years in fact. I've taken the supplements. I've charted my temperatures and checked my cervical mucus. I've tried tipping myself upside down after we've done the deed. We've tried doing it every day. We've tried doing it every other day.

I know they're only trying to help, but it makes me want to scream!!


Snapping out of it...

Mr B and I spent the Easter weekend together - four whole days with no decorating, just chilling out, catching up and spending time with each other.

At the end of the weekend, I realised it was the first weekend in a while that I wasn't on my own, thinking about test results or babies or PCOS or anything along those lines, and I realised that it was completely taking over everything. But it was nice that it hadn't taken over Easter.

I decided that, once the eggs were gone on Monday, that was it.

I'm back on the diet.

I'm exercising again (Zumba this evening, and the gym tomorrow).

I want a baby, and it's about time I started acting like it.


My own kinda funk

So yet again, it's been a while since I blogged.

I've been in a bit of a downward spiral of self pity since The Results came in. It's not been helped by the fact that I've spent a lot of time on my own as Mr B has been decorating his study. It meant that in the evenings and at the weekends I've been left with a lot of time to spare, hanging out in my own head, which is never a good thing!

I went for my day 21 progesterone test 2 and a half weeks ago. When I rang on the Friday for my results (purely out of curiousity) the receptionist told me that the Dr wanted to see me for a routine appointment to discuss the results.
This confused me a little, because my understanding had been that whatever the results were, my Dr was going to refer us (the actual test was more of box ticking exercise than anything else!). After a bit of an argument with the receptionist, I finally got to speak to a Dr about the results, and it turned out that MY Dr hadn't seen the results - it was another Dr that was requesting an appointment.  (If you've stuck with that, well done!)

ANYWAY, the long and short of the story is that I'm not ovulating. At least, I wasn't ovulating the day I had the blood test.

Although I've known for more than 10 years that I've got PCOS and my fertility was going to be an issue, it's all been much tougher than I thought it was going to be.

When we got the results from Mr B's SA, it was massively bittersweet for me. I was over the moon that everything was good for him, but felt like all the pressure was on me if we were going to have a baby.

Then, when we found out that I'm not ovulating (maybe), that felt like another slap in the face for me, too.

Like I said, I've had too much time in my own head with this stuff recently.

I'm on the up though, I promise ;-)