I'm not a greedy person. There aren't many things that I'd like for Christmas. And they're not big things either - I'm not asking for World Peace or anything, the stuff I'm after is much closer to home.
Just two things would make me happy this Christmas:
1. To have our family with us - so if you can get the snow to go, that would be great.
2. To have something to look forward to in the New Year, work wise.
My mum and brother are coming to spend it with Mr B and I and I can't wait.
Christmas is all about family for me. Seeing my folks and Mr B's folks, grandparents, the lot, without the distraction of work, house work and all the other boring stuff that's going on every other day.
Christmas day is all about chilling out, playing some games, eating foods, and getting some drink in me!
I love giving presents too - I'm definitely a giver more than a receiver when it comes to gifting.
I couldn't care less when the tree goes up and I don't want to listen to Christmas music all day everyday in the office from the 1st December.
That, apparently, makes me a miserable Scrooge.
I don't gettit, just because that's not what makes Christmas Christmas for me, I'm the one that's in the wrong.
Surely I'm not the only one that finds the commercial build up to this one day of the year totally unnecessary.
Which means that I'm now only 4 pounds away from the heaviest weight I ever hit, 5 years ago. I'm sure you can imagine just how great that makes me feel.
It also means that, since I joined the class, I've GAINED half a stone. Somehow, I don't think that's the point of a slimming group.
I don't know what to do - it's obviously not working for me, and I'm spending £5 a week to be told what I already know. I know it's all down to me - if I ate anywhere near the plan, I'd lose the weight, but I just can't seem to stay on track at the moment.
Although I handed in my notice on Monday, I didn't actually give my boss any real reasons. We were supposed to then catch up on Thursday and talk it through, but I got snowed in, so that didn't happen.
I ended up in the office on Friday morning with one of my directors. Until Friday, he hadn't actually acknowledged my resignation, but on Friday morning he decided he wanted to talk about it and try and understand my reasons.
It didn't quite work out like that, though - turns out he can't get his head round the fact that I'm prepared to leave a job without a new one to go to. He assumed that something must've happened in my personal life for me to make the decision (the only thing that's happened is that I decided I didn't want to be unhappy any more). Next he asked me if Mr B had had a big pay rise that meant I could afford not to work (he hasn't, and I can't). When I'd finished telling him all the reasons I'd decided to leave, he told me that they all sounded like personal reasons, and that they weren't really anything to do with the company, so there's nothing that they can do as a company to make changes for other people.
Turns out, he didn't listen to the bit where I told him that I didn't think there was any progression for me there. Or the bit when I told him I was frustrated with the way they dangle carrots all the time and constantly makes the stick longer. Or the bit where I said they're all about the talk, and less about the action, which is really annoying.
My boss has also said that he had no idea that I was so unhappy. Turns out he didn't take me seriously at all when I told him, only 6 weeks ago, that I was ready to walk out because I was so incredibly unhappy. I'm sure that's probably my fault, too, but we'll see what happens after my conversation with him tomorrow.
It's been a pretty crazy week in the life of Mrs B!
On Monday, I handed in my notice at the job I've been in for more than five years, without a new one to go to. It was a tough decision that I thought long and hard about, and 5 minutes before going in to the meeting with my manager, I wasn't sure if I was making the right decision. Less than five minutes after I'd done it, though, I was certain that it was.
They made no attempt to change my mind, didn't try to keep me, aren't interested (apparently) in understanding the reasons behind my decision.
I was a little bit disappointed that, after 5 years of bloody hard work, they didn't even think that it was worth asking me if there was anything they could do to keep me.
I guess if someone's leaving with nothing else to go to, though, it's pretty obvious that there's no going back...
On Tuesday I had an interview for a job at a company local to where I live. At the moment, Mr B has to drop me off / pick me up because I don't drive, and I'm working a 10 hour day every day. In contrast, it took me 30 minutes to walk home after my interview - in snow / ice / dark, too, so I think on a "good" day (and when I've done it a bit more often and my fitness levels are better!) I could do it in 20. Awesome. The job's a 6 month maternity cover contract, so nothing too long term, but it's with a massive organisation, so I think it would be a great foot in the door anyway. Please, keep everything crossed for me!
We also made a pretty big (but very sensible) decision about TTC this week, too. We've decided that, because I will be officially unemployed in 3 weeks time and I don't know when (or where) my next pay packets coming from, it wouldn't be great timing if I were to fall pregnant. So, we've decided that we're going to take a break from TTC. That's not to say that we're going to use contraceptives, but we're not going to jump to it when we think I'm OV-ing, like we have been doing lately.
I still haven't managed to get a new thermometer, so I haven't temped for more than a week. I know I'm CD 54, though, and I think I OV'd a couple of days ago, which would make this cycle very similar to / the same as the last one, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Right, I've got a handover bible to write for work, so I best get cracking... !