A whole year...

Saturday marked 12 months since Mr B "properly" started trying for a baby.

And on Friday I discovered that another of my cousins is pregnant. She's not in a relationship, in fact the father wants nothing to do with her or the baby. It was pretty much a one time (well, maybe few time) thing.

It sucks that someone who doesn't want a baby gets pregnant so easily, yet we've been unsuccessfully trying for a long time.

And probably will be unsuccessful for a long time to come.



This Beautiful Life...



I love it.

I don’t think I could go a day without hearing some sort of music. My iPod is constantly with me, and on the rare occasion that the battery is dead, I’m a little bit lost.

There are songs that I hear that make me happy.

Others that make me sad.


Some that remind me of great nights out with friends.

And others that remind me of holidays with loved ones.

Song lyrics are things that I find myself quoting a lot, or hearing and thinking "that's sooo true". It's not quite poetry, but I can't help treating songs as though they are.

There's music for every occassion, for every feeling, emotion and time of your life.

I don't know what I'd do without it.


The C Word

I went to see my mum for a couple of days, and stopped in to see my dad and his wife and see how she was getting on.

She's having the breast removed on the 21st July.

She's been asked to cut down on her cigarettes. She's a big smoker (50+ per day) and they want her down to 5 a day. Maximum.

Mr B and I were there an hour and as we left, she was lighting up her 5th cigarette. I'm pretty sure they weren't the first (or last) five that she smoked yesterday.

It totally pisses me off.

I won't be given any help with my fertility unless I've lost 6stone, because the chances of the drugs / IVF working aren't as high if I'm fat, but they won't refuse her treatment for her cancer because she doesn't stop smoking.

Maybe that's something the NHS should think about - not dishing out the treatment so easily to cancer patients who can't be bothered to stop smoking or drinking (don't even get me started on the box of wine a daya that she drinks...).

Anyway, rant over.


Weekly Weigh in...

Considering the food I ate last weekend, I'm not surprised that I

STAYED THE SAME this week.

I ate quite a lot of rubbish last weekend, so I think that most likely I gained weight last weekend that I've then lost throughout the week to keep me at the same weight today.

It does mean, however, that I'm quite a way behind where I need to be for my 4stoneby2012 target... well, 4lbs behind, anyway.

So, the plan for next week is to go back on to the starter diet (which is the one I followed and lost 5lbs in a week) and get my ass back to the gym this week, too. I'm also trying to rope my friend in to going to Zumba classes with me, so that should be fun!!

At last...


Shhh! It's a secret!

I finish work at 2.30 tomorrow, and had nothing planned for my afternoon off.

But yesterday I decided I'd get the train and go and surprise my mum! It'll mean more than 3 hours travelling, but it'll be worth it to see the look on her face when I get there!

She knows that Mr B and I are going up there for the day on Saturday anyway, but I thought it'd be nice to go up the night before on my own to spend some time with her.

I'm so excited!

But, I'm also not very good at keeping secrets and keep wondering if I'm going to let it slip when I speak to her this evening!!


Sweets, Treats, and Temptations...

This week's eating plan is super strict.

3 meals, each 300 calories, plus my little nibbly bits of pepper. To give you an example of what that actually means, my lunch today was a hard boiled egg and slice of wheat free bread. Wheat free bread is tiny, btw

I gotta be honest, it's not that easy. On the plus side, I'm anticipating a big loss this week...

But there've been a couple of birthdays in the office, so just opposite where I sit is a whole load of homemade cookies, cakes and treats.

I've managed to resist so far, but as my tummy starts rumbling, it's becoming more and more difficult...


Oh I do like to be beside the seaside...

My brother in law did the London to Brighton bike today, so we headed down there to cheer him on and spend some time by the seaside.

We stood by the side of the road for four hours, only to discover that we weren't going to see him before we needed to leave to get the train home.

He did a similar journey the other week and it took him 4hours 40 mins. Today, it took nearly NINE HOURS!! It took them nearly 2 hours to get out of London.....

Frustrating, huh!


Weekly Weigh In...

Well, it was about as expected this week.

I gained a pound.

I think it was a mixture of emotional eating, and getting over excited about losing my gain.

I'm back on track, now, though.

I think...


The C Word

I mentioned the other week about my dad's wife having been diagnosed with cancer.

She had the operation on May 18th to remove the tumour, and went back last week for the biopsy results.

She hadn't prepared for the worst. She thought it would all be ok.

It hasn't quite worked out like that.

They didn't get all of the cancer. It's an aggressive form. She needs to have the breast removed.

She's back to hospital tomorrow.


So Excited

One of the ladies at work just found out she's going to become a granny.

She was so excited when she told us.

She was almost jumping up and down with excitement.

I was really pleased for her, and her daughter, but couldn't help feeling disappointed that I hadn't been able to give my mum that excited feeling.


But I will.

And I can't wait to see her face when I get to tell her she's going to be a Nanny.



I seem to be having problems replying to comments on here at the moment.

And leaving comments on other blogs too, actually.

I am here, I am reading, and I am grateful for your comments - I just can't tell you so!!

I don't want that...

"Babies?", she said, "I don't want that"

"All those smelly nappies and sleepless nights?", she said, "I don't want that".

"Popping a child out of my lady bits", she said, "I don't want that!".

"Not being able to drink for at least 9 months", she said, "I don't want that".

"I'm pregnant!" she said, "Due in December. How exciting is that!"



Just a few of the earrings mum and I made last week. I'm very proud of us!


Weekly Weigh in

Because I've been away all week, I had to wait until I got home today to weigh in...

I was a bit nervous because, as I wasn't at home, my routine wasn't quite the same and I wasn't sure how I'd get on. Although, Mum did a pretty good job at keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Actually, she did an awesome job at keeping me on the straight and narrow:


That means I've done a stone in 8 weeks, which is totally on target for 4stoneby2012!


It's oh so quiet...

I've lost my voice.


It's really frustrating!

Mum and I have had a really quiet, but productive, day... We've made 35 pairs of earrings today, and we're hoping to sell them and make some pennies.

I'll post some pics when I get a chance, but they're pretty nice!


I mentioned earlier in the week that I don't get to see my family a lot.

This week, because I've been staying with my mum to help her out, I've seen a lot more of them.

And I've realised just how old my grandparents are. They're suddenly looking old and acting old, too.

I noticed that my Grandma's hands and jaw shake as she's having a drink. My Pap's neck is all saggy. Grandma's eyes are a bit droopy...

When I think about it, though, my Pap is 2 months away from his 80th birthday, and my Grandma will be 70 next birthday. Despite that, they're both incredibly active - my Pap walks the dog for an hour every day, spends time in his garden weeding, mowing or "harvesting" his crops and goes out to the football every week, while my Grandma is constantly on the go - organising some daytime activity or another for the "old people" in the village.

I hope I don't have anything to worry about, but I can't help it...

Pap and Grandma, November 2009


This Beautiful Life...

This week's Beautiful Life is brought to you by...

family quote graphics

I don't get to see an awful lot of my family, due to the fact that I don't drive and we live about an hour's drive away, but that doesn't make them any less important to me.

In fact, I probably appreciate them more now that I don't see them as often than I did when I was living with them.

I certainly appreciate the amount my mum did for me when I was growing up and living at home more than I ever did.
And my relationship with my brother is a MUCH better one!

When I do get to spend time with them, I really enjoy it and make the most of it.

Chilling, catching up and chatting with my family is one of my favourite-est things to do.

Without them, I would be the person I am today.


Weekly Weigh In

Well, it didn't go well this morning...

I gained 2lbs this week.

However, it has been 4 weeks since I had my last gain and, the week after that, I got my period, so I'm hoping that the gain this week is because I've got some sort of cycle going and it's water retention.

Maybe. Who knows.

As for my 4 stone by 2012 target, I need to lose 4lbs next week in order to be on track. It's a pretty big ask, considering that I'm at my mums and eating the same stuff for the third week in a row, but I'm hopeful that I can do it and keep on track.

Finger's crossed!


Counting down...

I only have another 18 and a quarter working hours until I'm off for a week and get to spend some time with my mum.

Not that I'm counting...