Howdy
It's been quite difficult, since Christmas, to get into a groove of eating and exercising. Because of the snow, Weight Watchers was cancelled, and it was difficult to get to the gym as often as we'd have liked.
Weight Watchers was back in full swing this week, though. Unfortunately, I gained half a pound. In the grand scheme of things (considering I'd been left to my own devices for 3 weeks) that wasn't too bad. However, in 6 weeks I've only lost 2.5lbs over all, which isn't great. Actually, it's pretty appalling and not really motivational when I'm supposed to be on a mission.
I spoke to the group leader on Monday about what I'm eating, and it turns out that I might not be eating enough.
Then, on Tuesday, when I was speaking to my personal trainer, she's suggested that I'm probably not exercising enough, either, and I should look at WHAT I'm eating, to see if that's a factor.
I already know that bread makes me bloat. A lot. In an ideal world, I'd cut it out altogether, but it's all too easy to grab a sandwich for lunch or toast for breakfast.
My plan for the next couple of weeks is to:
* Eat more Pro Points
* Get into an exercise routine
* Make a conscious effort not to eat bread. As much.
I'm hoping that will have an impact on my weightloss... finger's crossed! x
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
31/01/2013
12/01/2013
New Start
The start of the year hasn't really been all that great - I ended up with Norovirus on New Year's Day and it wiped me out for the best part of 6 days. Then, on Tuesday, we had our second appointment with the gyne clinic to see how things are progressing.
Now, I'm not going to lie - the weight hasn't come off anywhere near like it should have. But, the dietician had been very positive about my progress and suggested that I make them aware that, although my weight hasn't changed all that much, I have lost inches, particularly from around my waist. From her perspective, that was better for me than losing weight, anyway.
We saw a different consultant this time to the one we saw at our first appointment, and I knew it wasn't going to go well when he said that I have "PCOS because of my size, obviously".
That, in itself isn't true.
He asked how the weight loss had gone and I admitted that since my last appointment I'd only lost 4 / 5lbs, but that I had lost 18.5cms.
"Sorry, you've lost me", he said, "What do you mean you've lost 18.5cms?"
"Well, I've measured myself - waist, hips, everywhere - and I've lost 18.5cms", I replied.
"That doesn't make sense. How can you lose CMs if you've not lost weight?", he said, looking at me as if I were stupid.
I looked at Mr B, and said "Well, it's muscle definition, isn't it? I'm changing the shape of muscle".
He continued to look at me as if I was stupid and said "Well that just doesn't make any sense. I don't understand that, so I don't believe it can be true".
What. The. Actual. F*ck.
Both my personal trainer AND the dietician have been really pleased with the lower measurements, and I've been on enough diets to know that they encourage you to measure yourself because even when you're not losing weight you can be losing the inches.
He then went on to lecture me, in an incredibly patronising way, about how to lose weight and how it would help not only with trying for a baby, but with my whole life. "Just think", he said, "about the impact it'll have".
Obviously making the assumption that because I'm fat, I'm unhappy.
In the end, (I think because he could see I was about to snap), Mr B asked what the aim was.
"Obviously", he said, "the ideal BMI is 25, but that's a long way off, so I think that perhaps trying to get it down as much as possible is the way to go."
"When we were here last time, I was told to aim for 40. Is that realistic?" I said.
"Well, y'know, we'd have to see. It's hard to say, really", he said, in a really noncommittal way.
"Right well I want to know - if I come back here with a BMI of 40, will you be telling me to go away again
until it's 35?", I pushed.
"In all honesty, I'd have to see you. Like I said, 25 is ideal, but if you were at that, we wouldn't be having this conversation because you wouldn't have the PCOS. Y'know, all of the symptoms of PCOS are reversible through weight loss", he said, glancing at my beard.
If it hadn't been for the fact that I was almost in tears because of the way he'd spoken to me, I would have corrected him. And given him a little extra piece of my mind. As it was, I was close to crying and / or punching him in the face, so I got my next appointment and walked out.
I got as far as the waiting room before the tears started. It was a relief, though, when Mr B exclaimed that "He was a cock", because I was worried that I was being overly sensitive.
He was a nasty, horrible man who took one look at me and decided it was my fault because I was fat. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't actually think PCOS were a real condition - he obviously knows nothing about it and is far too arrogant to learn.
I spent most of the rest of the day in tears, and was still pretty delicate on Wednesday. But now I'm angry and determined to lose the weight.
I'm also going to look into the NHS Choices scheme, to see if I can refuse to see him again, or find a consultant that specialises in PCOS.
But, for now, the plan is to get back on it and prove him wrong.
Arsehole.
Now, I'm not going to lie - the weight hasn't come off anywhere near like it should have. But, the dietician had been very positive about my progress and suggested that I make them aware that, although my weight hasn't changed all that much, I have lost inches, particularly from around my waist. From her perspective, that was better for me than losing weight, anyway.
We saw a different consultant this time to the one we saw at our first appointment, and I knew it wasn't going to go well when he said that I have "PCOS because of my size, obviously".
That, in itself isn't true.
He asked how the weight loss had gone and I admitted that since my last appointment I'd only lost 4 / 5lbs, but that I had lost 18.5cms.
"Sorry, you've lost me", he said, "What do you mean you've lost 18.5cms?"
"Well, I've measured myself - waist, hips, everywhere - and I've lost 18.5cms", I replied.
"That doesn't make sense. How can you lose CMs if you've not lost weight?", he said, looking at me as if I were stupid.
I looked at Mr B, and said "Well, it's muscle definition, isn't it? I'm changing the shape of muscle".
He continued to look at me as if I was stupid and said "Well that just doesn't make any sense. I don't understand that, so I don't believe it can be true".
What. The. Actual. F*ck.
Both my personal trainer AND the dietician have been really pleased with the lower measurements, and I've been on enough diets to know that they encourage you to measure yourself because even when you're not losing weight you can be losing the inches.
He then went on to lecture me, in an incredibly patronising way, about how to lose weight and how it would help not only with trying for a baby, but with my whole life. "Just think", he said, "about the impact it'll have".
Obviously making the assumption that because I'm fat, I'm unhappy.
In the end, (I think because he could see I was about to snap), Mr B asked what the aim was.
"Obviously", he said, "the ideal BMI is 25, but that's a long way off, so I think that perhaps trying to get it down as much as possible is the way to go."
"When we were here last time, I was told to aim for 40. Is that realistic?" I said.
"Well, y'know, we'd have to see. It's hard to say, really", he said, in a really noncommittal way.
"Right well I want to know - if I come back here with a BMI of 40, will you be telling me to go away again
until it's 35?", I pushed.
"In all honesty, I'd have to see you. Like I said, 25 is ideal, but if you were at that, we wouldn't be having this conversation because you wouldn't have the PCOS. Y'know, all of the symptoms of PCOS are reversible through weight loss", he said, glancing at my beard.
If it hadn't been for the fact that I was almost in tears because of the way he'd spoken to me, I would have corrected him. And given him a little extra piece of my mind. As it was, I was close to crying and / or punching him in the face, so I got my next appointment and walked out.
I got as far as the waiting room before the tears started. It was a relief, though, when Mr B exclaimed that "He was a cock", because I was worried that I was being overly sensitive.
He was a nasty, horrible man who took one look at me and decided it was my fault because I was fat. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't actually think PCOS were a real condition - he obviously knows nothing about it and is far too arrogant to learn.
I spent most of the rest of the day in tears, and was still pretty delicate on Wednesday. But now I'm angry and determined to lose the weight.
I'm also going to look into the NHS Choices scheme, to see if I can refuse to see him again, or find a consultant that specialises in PCOS.
But, for now, the plan is to get back on it and prove him wrong.
Arsehole.
24/07/2012
Personal Trainer - Tuesday 17th July
After my week of realisation, panic and feeling the pressure about the task ahead of me, I looked into a few more drastic measures to help me along my weightloss way.
I spent a bit of time researching LighterLife and the Cambridge Diet.
I knew they weren't sensible diets or a long term thing, but I thought that maybe for a quick fix and to ease the pressure I'd be able to do it.
After looking at them in a bit more detail I realised that no, I wouldn't be able to do it. And, more importantly, I didn't want to.
Getting all my energy and nutrients without actually chewing food just doesn't sit right with me. I wouldn't have teeth if it was ok not to chew...
So, I started toying with the idea of getting a personal trainer. I figured that an hour a week would not only be better for me than one of those diets, but it'd be cheaper too. And what harm would it do?!
I asked one of the girls at work whether she knew anyone (she's a fitness instructor, too) and she told me about her recently qualified friend, Louise.
Not only is she recently qualified, she's recently lost nearly SEVEN STONE!
We chatted on the Friday night, and I liked her over the phone, but she rightly pointed out that we should meet in person to check we were both happy working together.
She came round on Tuesday for a consultation, which was basically talking about what I wanted to achieve, why and when by. We talked about my diet (I'm eating too much FRUIT!! Who'da thunk it!), and my current exercise regime.
She actually made me feel like it's possible for me to hit my 3 stone target in time for the hospital appointment in October.
I like that she not only knows what she's talking about, she's been there, too. She's not just some skinny minny who likes to exercise - she's worked bloody hard to get where she is and looks great for it.
Our first session is tonight. I can't wait!
I spent a bit of time researching LighterLife and the Cambridge Diet.
I knew they weren't sensible diets or a long term thing, but I thought that maybe for a quick fix and to ease the pressure I'd be able to do it.
After looking at them in a bit more detail I realised that no, I wouldn't be able to do it. And, more importantly, I didn't want to.
Getting all my energy and nutrients without actually chewing food just doesn't sit right with me. I wouldn't have teeth if it was ok not to chew...
So, I started toying with the idea of getting a personal trainer. I figured that an hour a week would not only be better for me than one of those diets, but it'd be cheaper too. And what harm would it do?!
I asked one of the girls at work whether she knew anyone (she's a fitness instructor, too) and she told me about her recently qualified friend, Louise.
Not only is she recently qualified, she's recently lost nearly SEVEN STONE!
 |
| One of the BEFORE and AFTER photos from her Facebook page |
She came round on Tuesday for a consultation, which was basically talking about what I wanted to achieve, why and when by. We talked about my diet (I'm eating too much FRUIT!! Who'da thunk it!), and my current exercise regime.
She actually made me feel like it's possible for me to hit my 3 stone target in time for the hospital appointment in October.
I like that she not only knows what she's talking about, she's been there, too. She's not just some skinny minny who likes to exercise - she's worked bloody hard to get where she is and looks great for it.
Our first session is tonight. I can't wait!
22/07/2012
Doctors - 13.07.12
After I chased the doctors about my referrals, I had a phone call from the receptionist.
"The doctor would like to see you about the letter she's received from the gyneacologist - can you make an appointment to come in?".
Part of me knew it was going to be a pointless appointment. I thought that she'd want to confirm that she'd sent the referral off to the dietician and see how I was feeling generally about going to the hospital.
I was partly right - it was pointless.
I was wrong to assume that she would've done ANYTHING about the referral.
It started off badly when, as I sat down, she said "So, what can I do for you today?".
I told her that I was there because I'd been told she wanted to see me about the letter she'd received.
So, she dutifully looked at the letter, muttered something about "dietician" and asked me where I wanted to go from here.
"Erm, well... the consultant said I'd be referred to a dietician...?"
"Yes," she said, "we could do that. Or you could have a 12 week referral to either Weight Watchers or Rosemary Conley. We could also look at Orlistat. And if none of that works, maybe we need to consider surgery".
To say I was confused by the direction the appointment was taking would be an understatement.
She proceeded to tell me that if I chose to see the dietician I would probably only see her once or twice.
I told her that I'd tried both Weight Watchers and Rosemary Conley before and had limited success, so maybe it would be worth me giving the dietician a try.
She asked me how losing weight was going, and when I told her it was something I've been trying to do for well, ever, she made a noise that suggested she didn't believe me.
I told her that I'd got an appointment with a personal trainer booked, and she looked at me as if she didn't believe me.
She then said "I think maybe you're complacent about dieting, and that's why you're not losing weight. I think you need to put some serious thought into weight loss surgery".
I asked if there was anything else she wanted to talk to me about, and she said no. I promptly left.
I was pretty fricking angry. So angry that I ended up crying.
WHY was weightloss surgery being offered so easily?
WHY was that my only option?
Surely it would be better - and cheaper - all round to offer me more support and guidance than an operation?
I'm now more determined than ever to do this myself - without medication OR surgery - so that I can stick two fingers up to the NHS and their "help".
"The doctor would like to see you about the letter she's received from the gyneacologist - can you make an appointment to come in?".
Part of me knew it was going to be a pointless appointment. I thought that she'd want to confirm that she'd sent the referral off to the dietician and see how I was feeling generally about going to the hospital.
I was partly right - it was pointless.
I was wrong to assume that she would've done ANYTHING about the referral.
It started off badly when, as I sat down, she said "So, what can I do for you today?".
I told her that I was there because I'd been told she wanted to see me about the letter she'd received.
So, she dutifully looked at the letter, muttered something about "dietician" and asked me where I wanted to go from here.
"Erm, well... the consultant said I'd be referred to a dietician...?"
"Yes," she said, "we could do that. Or you could have a 12 week referral to either Weight Watchers or Rosemary Conley. We could also look at Orlistat. And if none of that works, maybe we need to consider surgery".
To say I was confused by the direction the appointment was taking would be an understatement.
She proceeded to tell me that if I chose to see the dietician I would probably only see her once or twice.
I told her that I'd tried both Weight Watchers and Rosemary Conley before and had limited success, so maybe it would be worth me giving the dietician a try.
She asked me how losing weight was going, and when I told her it was something I've been trying to do for well, ever, she made a noise that suggested she didn't believe me.
I told her that I'd got an appointment with a personal trainer booked, and she looked at me as if she didn't believe me.
She then said "I think maybe you're complacent about dieting, and that's why you're not losing weight. I think you need to put some serious thought into weight loss surgery".
I asked if there was anything else she wanted to talk to me about, and she said no. I promptly left.
I was pretty fricking angry. So angry that I ended up crying.
WHY was weightloss surgery being offered so easily?
WHY was that my only option?
Surely it would be better - and cheaper - all round to offer me more support and guidance than an operation?
I'm now more determined than ever to do this myself - without medication OR surgery - so that I can stick two fingers up to the NHS and their "help".
21/07/2012
So much going on!
I've got several posts that have been floating round my head for the past week, but I haven't had time to write them!
And, if I'm honest, I've been too emotionally close to them, too.
Now, with a week of distance, I'm going to write them. I'm obviously not posting them on the write days, but I am going to post them chronologically, so you'll have an idea of the timing and the rubbish-ness of what went on!!
On a brighter note, I weighed in this morning and I've lost 3 lbs!
Super pleased with that!!
And, if I'm honest, I've been too emotionally close to them, too.
Now, with a week of distance, I'm going to write them. I'm obviously not posting them on the write days, but I am going to post them chronologically, so you'll have an idea of the timing and the rubbish-ness of what went on!!
On a brighter note, I weighed in this morning and I've lost 3 lbs!
Super pleased with that!!
15/07/2012
Weigh in
I stayed the same this week.
I'm a bit disappointed, but it's not the end of the world.
I'm meeting with a personal trainer this week and headed back to a Slimming World class on Wednesday so that should all help.
I have blogs I need to write-particularly about the rude lady in New Look (who won't get out of my head) and the doctors on Friday.
But until then, enjoy the rest of your Sunday!
07/07/2012
4 week weigh in...
So today was weigh in day.
I gained a pound.
No real surprise.
Off to a BBQ tonight then a new week starts tomorrow. Feel much more positive this end of the week than I did last.
Happy Saturday!
Under Pressure
It's fair to say that I've felt the pressure this week. I think the realisation of what we're facing has finally caught up with me this week and I've just had a meltdown (I'm also really hoping that there's a premenstrual element to it, too - more that 90 days since AF's last visit. )
Anyway, on Tuesday I had a good old weep at Mr B, worried that I wasn't going to be able to lose the weight I need to lose.
On Wednesday, the same thing happened.
"You need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself," Mr B said.
It's easier said than done though, isn't it, really?
It's ME that doesn't work properly.
It's ME that has to lose the weight.
It's ME the doctors are judging.
It's MY fault we don't have a baby yet.
It's ME that's chasing the referrals, appointments, letters and what not.
Add to that the hell that is currently my work, and it's all just got a bit much this week.
I spoke to my mum yesterday and she suggested that I give something like pilates a go. Something to relax me, take my mind off things.
Because, as she pointed out, we're only at the beginning of it all.
Anyway, on Tuesday I had a good old weep at Mr B, worried that I wasn't going to be able to lose the weight I need to lose.
On Wednesday, the same thing happened.
"You need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself," Mr B said.
It's easier said than done though, isn't it, really?
It's ME that doesn't work properly.
It's ME that has to lose the weight.
It's ME the doctors are judging.
It's MY fault we don't have a baby yet.
It's ME that's chasing the referrals, appointments, letters and what not.
Add to that the hell that is currently my work, and it's all just got a bit much this week.
I spoke to my mum yesterday and she suggested that I give something like pilates a go. Something to relax me, take my mind off things.
Because, as she pointed out, we're only at the beginning of it all.
04/07/2012
3 Week Weigh In
I weighed in last week.
I stayed the same.
I was gutted.
So gutted, that I had a little cry last night. Big, fat tears. Sobbing till I couldn't catch my breath. So, in fact, more than a little cry.
I was having a bit of a "woe is me" evening. I felt like a failure. I felt that I was letting people down.
I felt the pressure.
I'm still feeling the pressure today, and don't really know how to handle it. It's starting to dawn on me just how big a challenge 3 stone is. I've never lost 3 stone before - what makes me think I can do it this time?
I know that having a baby is (and should be) the biggest motivation there is, but it's the same motivation I've had since I started dieting over 6 years ago and, as yet, I'm no thinner.
I stayed the same.
I was gutted.
So gutted, that I had a little cry last night. Big, fat tears. Sobbing till I couldn't catch my breath. So, in fact, more than a little cry.
I was having a bit of a "woe is me" evening. I felt like a failure. I felt that I was letting people down.
I felt the pressure.
I'm still feeling the pressure today, and don't really know how to handle it. It's starting to dawn on me just how big a challenge 3 stone is. I've never lost 3 stone before - what makes me think I can do it this time?
I know that having a baby is (and should be) the biggest motivation there is, but it's the same motivation I've had since I started dieting over 6 years ago and, as yet, I'm no thinner.
12/03/2012
Why Can't I Just Do it!
I know what I need to do.
I know how to do it.
I know why I'm doing it.
So why can't I just do it!
Let me put it another way:
I know that I need to lose weight by following a sensible diet and exercising and that by doing it I'll be helping my PCOS symptoms and improving our chances of having a baby. So, why can't I just do it!!
I gave up smoking relatively easily. I consider myself an ex smoker - I haven't craved a cigarette in such a long time that I don't even remember what it was like to be one of those people that had to nip out for a smoke on a night out - I really don't.
So why can't I apply that same will power to losing weight. The end goal of losing weight is a much bigger (and better) one than the end goal of stopping smoking (which, at the time was to save money).
Maybe that's what the problem is.
Still.
I know how to do it.
I know why I'm doing it.
So why can't I just do it!
Let me put it another way:
I know that I need to lose weight by following a sensible diet and exercising and that by doing it I'll be helping my PCOS symptoms and improving our chances of having a baby. So, why can't I just do it!!
I gave up smoking relatively easily. I consider myself an ex smoker - I haven't craved a cigarette in such a long time that I don't even remember what it was like to be one of those people that had to nip out for a smoke on a night out - I really don't.
So why can't I apply that same will power to losing weight. The end goal of losing weight is a much bigger (and better) one than the end goal of stopping smoking (which, at the time was to save money).
Maybe that's what the problem is.
Still.
12/09/2011
The Joys of PCOS - Part 6
Weight problems – being overweight, rapid weight gain, difficulty losing weight.
It's also true that some of the difficulties I face in losing weight are because of my PCOS.
But a lot of it is down to the choices I've made, too. The foods I ate, the exercise I haven't done, and the education I didn't give myself earlier on.
If I could, I'd like to go back ten years and tell myself that I'm not actually that fat. That although I'm overweight, it's manageable. And to do a bit of reading up about PCOS and how it affects weight / weight gain.
I was reading some of my old diaries last week. In January 2003 I wrote that one of my new year's resolutions was to "be 12 stone before the end of the year".
At the beginning of 2005, it was to be 15 stone. In fact, by December 2005, I actually tipped the scales at 20stone and 4lbs.
I don't remember ever weighing 12 stone. I don't remember ever weighing 15 stone. I don't remember weighing anything in between.
I remember wearing size 14 / 16 clothes (the last time probably in 2002).
I remember buying a pair of size 26 trousers (in Evans in Northampton, November 2005), but I don't really remember anything in between.
When I think of myself between leaving school and now, I've always been this size. Size fat. Somewhere between 17 and a half and 20 stone.
It was quite sad last week when I read through my diaries and realised that, in the space of 8 years, I'd gained 8 stone.
I told Mr B about what I'd read. It made me sad to think that I'd thought I was horribly fat back in 2003 - if only I'd known then what I know now!
He pointed out to me that if I'd been that weight before, I could be that weight again.
There was nothing to stop me being 15 stone again. Nothing to stop me being that weight, and enjoying it this time.
There's also nothing to stop me being 12 stone again. Getting into a size 14/16 outfit and appreciating what that means, instead of worrying that I'm the fattest of all my friends.
So, that's my plan.
PCOS might not make it easy for me to lose weight, but I've been there before, and I'll damn well get there again.
I know I'll never look as youthful as I did in 2000 (top pic), but I'd love to have that jaw line again!
As you can probably tell, my hair changes A LOT. Maybe it's to distract from all the fat going on underneath?!
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| Me, 2000 |
It would be really easy for me to write a whole post about how I'm fat, and it's not my fault (in fact, there's a post just like that in my drafts...), but that's not true.
It is true that I'm fat.
It is true that part of that is due to my PCOS.It's also true that some of the difficulties I face in losing weight are because of my PCOS.
But a lot of it is down to the choices I've made, too. The foods I ate, the exercise I haven't done, and the education I didn't give myself earlier on.
If I could, I'd like to go back ten years and tell myself that I'm not actually that fat. That although I'm overweight, it's manageable. And to do a bit of reading up about PCOS and how it affects weight / weight gain.
 |
| 2002 |
At the beginning of 2005, it was to be 15 stone. In fact, by December 2005, I actually tipped the scales at 20stone and 4lbs.
I don't remember ever weighing 12 stone. I don't remember ever weighing 15 stone. I don't remember weighing anything in between.
I remember wearing size 14 / 16 clothes (the last time probably in 2002).
I remember buying a pair of size 26 trousers (in Evans in Northampton, November 2005), but I don't really remember anything in between.
 |
| April 2005 |
It was quite sad last week when I read through my diaries and realised that, in the space of 8 years, I'd gained 8 stone.
I told Mr B about what I'd read. It made me sad to think that I'd thought I was horribly fat back in 2003 - if only I'd known then what I know now!
He pointed out to me that if I'd been that weight before, I could be that weight again.
There was nothing to stop me being 15 stone again. Nothing to stop me being that weight, and enjoying it this time.
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| December 2005 |
So, that's my plan.
PCOS might not make it easy for me to lose weight, but I've been there before, and I'll damn well get there again.
I know I'll never look as youthful as I did in 2000 (top pic), but I'd love to have that jaw line again!
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| April 2008 |
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| August 2011 |
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| December 2010 |
Argh! Frustrating!
I have ideas for posts, but no time to write them.
The only time I do have time is when I'm at work because I don't actually have any work to do. But when I'm at work, I sit next to my manager so can't blog. Until she's in meetings. Like now. So this is just a super-quick update.
I didn't get the job. Apparently I interviewed well, and there's no real feedback on that side of things, but they had someone else apply who was more suited and had more relevant experience. Whatever. I would've been awesome at that job, but they'll never know that.
My weight stayed the same last week, which was ok because I know I actually lost 4lbs between Monday and Friday. Finger's crossed for more of the same this week!
I have had a bit of an attitude change with the diet, too, though - which will be a seperate post.
I've got less than 2 weeks until I go on holiday. I really can't wait to spend a week with Mr B, a good book and a pool. I don't care if it rains all week, I just don't want to be here.
There'll be more soon, I promise - just need to find time to sit at my computer and write!
The only time I do have time is when I'm at work because I don't actually have any work to do. But when I'm at work, I sit next to my manager so can't blog. Until she's in meetings. Like now. So this is just a super-quick update.
I didn't get the job. Apparently I interviewed well, and there's no real feedback on that side of things, but they had someone else apply who was more suited and had more relevant experience. Whatever. I would've been awesome at that job, but they'll never know that.
My weight stayed the same last week, which was ok because I know I actually lost 4lbs between Monday and Friday. Finger's crossed for more of the same this week!
I have had a bit of an attitude change with the diet, too, though - which will be a seperate post.
I've got less than 2 weeks until I go on holiday. I really can't wait to spend a week with Mr B, a good book and a pool. I don't care if it rains all week, I just don't want to be here.
There'll be more soon, I promise - just need to find time to sit at my computer and write!
02/09/2011
Weekly Weigh in...
I lost two pounds this week!
I think it's probably the stress of waiting to hear about this bloody job as much as anything, but it's 2lbs all the same.
I feel like I'm back on track (but don't want to say that too loud, just in case!) and writing stuff down is definitely helping.
I've got a busy weekend ahead, which I think might impact this week's diet - I'm fake wedding dress shopping with my friend in the day tomorrow, and then I'm off to a fancy dress 40th birthday party tomorrow (as an Angel, no less!).
I want to get to the gym on Sunday, in the hope that I can get the exercise side of things back on track, too.
I'm still crossing my fingers about the job, too!
29/07/2011
Weekly Weigh in...
Today's weigh in yielded a...
2LB LOSS!
I'm now one stone 4lbs lighter than I was at the beginning of my mission to lose weight.
I also measured myself last night and found that I've lost 11" in the past three months!! Three and a half of those were from my waist!
This week, I managed to go to the gym AND aerobics, so I'm sure that's helped the cause, too.
I'm so pleased to be back on track with it all.
Yay me!
24/06/2011
Weekly Weigh in...
Considering the food I ate last weekend, I'm not surprised that I
I ate quite a lot of rubbish last weekend, so I think that most likely I gained weight last weekend that I've then lost throughout the week to keep me at the same weight today.
It does mean, however, that I'm quite a way behind where I need to be for my 4stoneby2012 target... well, 4lbs behind, anyway.
So, the plan for next week is to go back on to the starter diet (which is the one I followed and lost 5lbs in a week) and get my ass back to the gym this week, too. I'm also trying to rope my friend in to going to Zumba classes with me, so that should be fun!!
STAYED THE SAME this week.
I ate quite a lot of rubbish last weekend, so I think that most likely I gained weight last weekend that I've then lost throughout the week to keep me at the same weight today.
It does mean, however, that I'm quite a way behind where I need to be for my 4stoneby2012 target... well, 4lbs behind, anyway.
So, the plan for next week is to go back on to the starter diet (which is the one I followed and lost 5lbs in a week) and get my ass back to the gym this week, too. I'm also trying to rope my friend in to going to Zumba classes with me, so that should be fun!!
18/06/2011
Weekly Weigh In...
Well, it was about as expected this week.
I gained a pound.
I think it was a mixture of emotional eating, and getting over excited about losing my gain.
I'm back on track, now, though.
I think...
I gained a pound.
I think it was a mixture of emotional eating, and getting over excited about losing my gain.
I'm back on track, now, though.
I think...
03/06/2011
Weekly Weigh In
Well, it didn't go well this morning...
I gained 2lbs this week.
However, it has been 4 weeks since I had my last gain and, the week after that, I got my period, so I'm hoping that the gain this week is because I've got some sort of cycle going and it's water retention.
Maybe. Who knows.
As for my 4 stone by 2012 target, I need to lose 4lbs next week in order to be on track. It's a pretty big ask, considering that I'm at my mums and eating the same stuff for the third week in a row, but I'm hopeful that I can do it and keep on track.
Finger's crossed!
I gained 2lbs this week.
However, it has been 4 weeks since I had my last gain and, the week after that, I got my period, so I'm hoping that the gain this week is because I've got some sort of cycle going and it's water retention.
Maybe. Who knows.
As for my 4 stone by 2012 target, I need to lose 4lbs next week in order to be on track. It's a pretty big ask, considering that I'm at my mums and eating the same stuff for the third week in a row, but I'm hopeful that I can do it and keep on track.
Finger's crossed!
10/04/2011
THE Dress.
I love my wedding dress, as I'm sure every bride does. In fact, I love everything about my wedding outfit - the dress, the shoes, the headdress. Even my pants, which were a matching shade of pink (but that only my mum and Mr B saw! And, before you ask, my mum got me dressed, and helped me pee all day - that's how come she saw them!)
I was lucky enough to get to wear my outfit twice, because we had our wedding reception 2 weeks after we actually got married.
I loved every minute I was in that dress - from the first second it went over my head, I knew it was THE Dress. The fact that my mum started crying when she saw me in it was confirmation enough for me. I really did feel like a princess. It's probably the only time in my life when I've felt beautiful, too. It's not often I look in the mirror and feel good about the reflection looking back at me. And it's certainly a rare occassion that I see pictures of myself and am happy with them.
Mr B and I have been married for about 18 months now, and I still haven't had my wedding dress cleaned. I wanted to wear it just one more time before I got it cleaned and packed it away, so it has hung, waiting to be worn, on the spare room door for 18 months. I look at it every day, touch it, and reminice a little bit.
In the run up to the wedding, I was totally obsessed with fitting in The Dress - I went to the gym, I went to aerobics, I stuck to my diet. I lost 12 inches in 13 weeks so that The Dress had to be taken in on my final fitting.
Trouble is, my dedication to fitting in The Dress sort of waned once I'd got married. If I'm honest, it didn't fit quite the same at the party as it did when I wore it to walk down the aisle, and that was only two weeks later.
Trouble is, my dedication to fitting in The Dress sort of waned once I'd got married. If I'm honest, it didn't fit quite the same at the party as it did when I wore it to walk down the aisle, and that was only two weeks later.
So, by the time my birthday came 4 months after the wedding, The Dress wouldn't do up at all. I decided that I'd lose enough weight to be able to wear it again on our wedding anniversary, 8 months later. When our anniversary came round, I didn't even bother getting The Dress off the hanger to try it on, because I knew it would be pointless.
But, still The Dress hung on the door, waiting to be worn. Until today.
Today, Mr B and I packed The Dress away. It's carefully packaged up, and hidden in a wardrobe. I gave it a little squirt of Wedding Day Perfume (Gucci II, if you're interested), and tucked it in, with a little tear in my eye.
Today, Mr B and I packed The Dress away. It's carefully packaged up, and hidden in a wardrobe. I gave it a little squirt of Wedding Day Perfume (Gucci II, if you're interested), and tucked it in, with a little tear in my eye.
I still haven't had it cleaned, though, because I will wear The Dress again. I will find that dedication, that drive, and that motivation, and I will sort my diet out, get to the gym, lose the inches, and fit in the dress.
28/03/2011
4 Stone by 2012
I have decided that I want to lose 4 stones before the start of 2012.
That's 56lb in 9 months. That's 6.22lbs a month, which is 1.55lbs a week.
Which is totally do-able. I'd like to have lost three of those four stones before Mr B and I go on holiday in September.
That's 26 weeks to lose 42lbs.
I will do it!!
That's 56lb in 9 months. That's 6.22lbs a month, which is 1.55lbs a week.
Which is totally do-able. I'd like to have lost three of those four stones before Mr B and I go on holiday in September.
That's 26 weeks to lose 42lbs.
I will do it!!
21/02/2011
Yay!!
I've lost 5 pounds in the past five weeks!!
I haven 't weighed myself in a month, which I think has helped, and there's no denying that the walking to and from work is helping me out.
But yay for me!!!
I haven 't weighed myself in a month, which I think has helped, and there's no denying that the walking to and from work is helping me out.
But yay for me!!!
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