It is true that part of that is due to my PCOS.
It's also true that some of the difficulties I face in losing weight are because of my PCOS.
But a lot of it is down to the choices I've made, too. The foods I ate, the exercise I haven't done, and the education I didn't give myself earlier on.
If I could, I'd like to go back ten years and tell myself that I'm not actually that fat. That although I'm overweight, it's manageable. And to do a bit of reading up about PCOS and how it affects weight / weight gain.
At the beginning of 2005, it was to be 15 stone. In fact, by December 2005, I actually tipped the scales at 20stone and 4lbs.
I don't remember ever weighing 12 stone. I don't remember ever weighing 15 stone. I don't remember weighing anything in between.
I remember wearing size 14 / 16 clothes (the last time probably in 2002).
I remember buying a pair of size 26 trousers (in Evans in Northampton, November 2005), but I don't really remember anything in between.
It was quite sad last week when I read through my diaries and realised that, in the space of 8 years, I'd gained 8 stone.
I told Mr B about what I'd read. It made me sad to think that I'd thought I was horribly fat back in 2003 - if only I'd known then what I know now!
He pointed out to me that if I'd been that weight before, I could be that weight again.
There was nothing to stop me being 15 stone again. Nothing to stop me being that weight, and enjoying it this time.
So, that's my plan.
PCOS might not make it easy for me to lose weight, but I've been there before, and I'll damn well get there again.
I know I'll never look as youthful as I did in 2000 (top pic), but I'd love to have that jaw line again!