The Joys of PCOS - Part 6

Weight problems – being overweight, rapid weight gain, difficulty losing weight.
Me, 2000

It would be really easy for me to write a whole post about how I'm fat, and it's not my fault (in fact, there's a post just like that in my drafts...), but that's not true.

It is true that I'm fat.
 It is true that part of that is due to my PCOS.

It's also true that some of the difficulties I face in losing weight are because of my PCOS.

But a lot of it is down to the choices I've made, too. The foods I ate, the exercise I haven't done, and the education I didn't give myself earlier on.

If I could, I'd like to go back ten years and tell myself that I'm not actually that fat. That although I'm overweight, it's manageable. And to do a bit of reading up about PCOS and how it affects weight / weight gain.

 I was reading some of my old diaries last week. In January 2003 I wrote that one of my new year's resolutions was to "be 12 stone before the end of the year".

At the beginning of 2005, it was to be 15 stone. In fact, by December 2005, I actually tipped the scales at 20stone and 4lbs.

I don't remember ever weighing 12 stone. I don't remember ever weighing 15 stone. I don't remember weighing anything in between.

I remember wearing size 14 / 16 clothes (the last time probably in 2002).
I remember buying a pair of size 26 trousers (in Evans in Northampton, November 2005), but I don't really remember anything in between.

April 2005
 When I think of myself between leaving school and now, I've always been this size. Size fat. Somewhere between 17 and a half and 20 stone.

It was quite sad last week when I read through my diaries and realised that, in the space of 8 years, I'd gained 8 stone.

I told Mr B about what I'd read. It made me sad to think that I'd thought I was horribly fat back in 2003 - if only I'd known then what I know now!

He pointed out to me that if I'd been that weight before, I could be that weight again.

There was nothing to stop me being 15 stone again. Nothing to stop me being that weight, and enjoying it this time.

December 2005
 There's also nothing to stop me being 12 stone again. Getting into a size 14/16 outfit and appreciating what that means, instead of worrying that I'm the fattest of all my friends.
So, that's my plan.
PCOS might not make it easy for me to lose weight, but I've been there before, and I'll damn well get there again.
I know I'll never look as youthful as I did in 2000 (top pic), but I'd love to have that jaw line again!

April 2008

August 2011

December 2010
As you can probably tell, my hair changes A LOT. Maybe it's to distract from all the fat going on underneath?!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Mrs. B, Just starting reading your story recently. I wanted to say, you CAN do it! I fully believe that you can. And, I will enjoy reading every moment of it. Love the hair, btw! :)