This Beautiful Life...

I love reading Jenna's blog - she often has me giggling away to my computer screen - and I thought that This Beautiful Life was a lush idea and I wanted to get in on the act!


The idea behind it is celebrate something that makes you happy - big or small - and remember that not everything's bad or negative.


So this post is dedicated to PHOTOS

I love everything about them - taking them, looking at them, printing them, framing them - everything!

I love that they capture a single moment that can evoke so many different emotions, feelings and memories. That they give you a snapshot to a time past, with loved ones that maybe aren't around any more.

I remember getting my first camera when my brother was a baby, so I was probably 6. I don't think there's ever been a time since that I haven't had a camera. I've always been the "snap-happy" friend - the one that you could rely on having a camera with them for a night out. I loved sending film off to be developed, not quite knowing what the outcome would be. Or finding a used film at the back of a drawer that hadn't been developed yet.

But digital cameras have made photos even better - the only limit to the amount you take is down to your memory card, not how many exposures you have on a film.

I wish I took better photos. Having said that, though, I'm pretty happy with the ones I do take!

Here are a selection of my faves:

When I'm 65...

When we were celebrating Mr B's mum's 65th birthday at the beginning of the month, I got to wondering about how she might've thought her life would be when she was 65.

Y'know, when she was younger, did she think that by the time she was 65 both her sons would be married?

I would imagine that she probably thought that, by the time she was 65 and her hubby was 68, they'd be grandparents. That there'd be a whole new generation of Burnhams around.

I think it's safe to say she would've expected there to be more than 5 of us sat round a table for her celebratory meal.

Then I got to thinking what Mr B thought his life would've been like by the time he was 40? Did he think he'd have a couple of children? Maybe a dog, or a hamster, running around? Did he think he'd be an uncle?

I always thought that Mr B would be a dad by the time he was 40. Or, at the very least, that I'd be pregnant. And, by default, his mum would've had a grandchild by the time she was 65.

And I can't help feeling, sometimes, like I've let them down.

I often wonder whether Mr B's parents think he could've done better for himself. Someone closer to his own age, and not so much younger. Someone with a better job and more ambition. Someone with a fully operational reproductive system.

But tough, Mr and Mrs B Snr - he got me! And we're married now, so you're stuck with me! Ha!

Weekly Weigh in

I'm a day late posting this this week, but I did weigh in yesterday.

And...

I LOST ANOTHER 2LB!!

That's 12lbs in 6 weeks!! I'm so pleased.

I worked out the other night that at the beginning of May last year I was a stone and a half lighter than I am now, but it had taken me 13 weeks to lose 11lbs.

This May I was a stone and a half heavier, but I've lost almost a stone of that in 6 weeks!!

I'm hopeful that THE dress will fit again by our wedding anniversary, if not before. Whoop!

Versatile Blogger Award

Helen over at Raindrops and Roses kindly gave me this award, and it would be rude not to graciously accept it and pass it on, too. So, here goes!

The rules:
* Make a post linking back to the person who gave you the award.



* Share 7 random things about yourself


* Award 7 recently discovered bloggers with this award and contact them to let them know they have won.

7 random things about me:

1/ I've been paying for membership at the gym for months, but haven't been since January. D'oh!

2/ I haven't had a cigarette since January first.

3/ If I won the lottery, my first splurge would be on a mega holiday. I'd get round the tickets for Mr B and I, and pay for our families to come and see us while we were on our trip.

4/ If I were an animal, I'd been a female elephant. They're fiercely loyal, protective, intelligent and totally mesmerising animals.

5/ I LOVE chilling out in front of the TV with Mr B.

6/ I love taking photographs. I'm not necessarily any good at taking them, but I do enjoy it.

7/ I've never watched the sun rise, but it's something I'd like to do!!

7 Bloggers that I read
I have to be honest, I don't have 7 that I've recently found, but here are 7 that I love:

My most recent blog discovery is The Secret to Success is Support - there are lots of fun things to do, tips and lovely ladies with great blogs to have a read and nose around.


An Experiment in Normality


Juliana at Juliana's PCOS journey


Kaitlin at Ah, My Married Life


The Sassy Infertile Lady

Jenna at Among the Blossoms

Michelle at No, I'm not fat, I'm pregnant

Phew!

Well, they're a couple of days I don't care to repeat any time soon!


Yesterday's interview seemed to go ok (incidentally, so did the calling in sick, thing!). The interviewer didn't really give much away, so I'm not sure what he thought, but I came away thinking I'd done as well as I could. Having said that, I'm not holding my breath because they had an internal applicant. Something tells me the job's more likely to go to them rather than any of the 4 external people they've interviewed.


Either way, I find out in a fortnight, when he's back from his jolly-days.

Then, we had the added stress of mum's operation. When I spoke to her last night, she was unsure whether the op was going to go ahead today as there was a bed shortage at the hospital. BUT she called me at 6.20 this morning to tell me that it was all systems go.

So, Mr B and I headed straight to Northampton to be with her. Unfortunately, we weren't able to sit with her on the ward (despite her asking only last week and being told it was ok...!), so we all had to stay in a family room (which was, basically, a storage room where they'd shoved a few chairs for us!). They told her she'd go down for surgery at around noon, but it wasn't until 2pm that they wheeled her away.

I had a few tears, but then we needed to leave - they told us she'd be in theatre for a good three hours and we needed to get home. But, I had a phone call from her at 5pm this evening - she was back on the ward and groggy, but otherwise fine.

Nerves are kicking in...

Starting to get a bit nervous about tomorrow.
I honestly don't know whether I'm more nervous about the interview or calling in sick!

Big Week!

I know it's only Monday, but already this week feels like it's going to be a mammoth one!

After last week's phone call about the job that's right up my street I had a phone call on Friday asking me to attend an interview on Wednesday morning .

I'm already off work on Thursday (more on that in a moment), so can't really take another day off this week. Instead, I'm going to pull my first ever sicky! Let me clarify: I have never pretended to be sick in order to take the day off work. I may have exagerrated how sick I was and stayed off when I could actually have gone into the office, but I've never out and out lied about being ill when I wasn't.

The only way I'm able to justify it is by telling myself that, if I don't take the day off for the interview, I might end up making myself ill mentally anyway, and then I'll have to have a whole lot more time off!

Anyway, that's exciting.

And then I'm off work on Thursday, too, because my mum has an operation. Mr B and I are off to sit with her for the day, worry about her while she's in theatre and mock her when she comes back to the ward in a woozy state.

Finger's crossed that everything goes well and to plan!

Decorating

We've been decorating our living room lately, and today the carpet was fitted.

I've loved having the carpet laid and putting the lovely new things in.

It's like moving in and starting afresh again.

I love it.

Weekly Weigh In

Another week has passed, and I wasn't too sure how I'd done with the diet. I've been fairly good, but AF was here, so I'm feeling pretty bloated and rubbish.

I did have a little personal victory yesterday, though - we had a company wide lunchtime meeting yesterday, and there was a delicious, free BBQ lunch. And I resisted. Instead, I had my cup a soup, apple, and yoghurt. Surrounded by people tucking into burgers, sausages, creamy coleslaw, chicken drumsticks and potatoes, it was a bit like torture!

But, weigh in this morning made it all worth it:

I LOST THREE POUNDS!

That puts me at 10lbs in 5 weeks.

I have 4 more pounds to lose until I've done a stone and I get to treat myself.

I just need to decide what to - a massage, some shoes or a manicure? What do you reckon?!

Thoughtful Thursday

It's been a while, but here goes:

Today is the tomorrow
we worried about yesterday

In for the long haul...

My period arrived 8 days ago.

And is still going strong.

It's got heavier as the week's progressed, which seems to be in direct correspondance with how well I've been doing on the diet.

But, because AF is here and I feel all bloated and rubbish, I'm really not sure how the weigh in will go tomorrow.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

...or is it Work Sick?

This morning while I was getting ready for work, I realised that the level of sickness I've been feeling and the emotional instability directly corresponds to the time I go to work, so I got to thinking that maybe it was work making me feel ill, and not missing my mum.

(NB: That's not to say I don't miss my mum - I really do. Have you seen how frigging beautiful she is!?)

Considering the long and difficult relationship depression and I have, I made the decision this morning that my CV and I needed to spend some quality time together, and I needed to have a good long look at some job websites. Being unhappy at work, feeling sick and like I want to cry every morning isn't good or healthy for anyone.

Surprisingly enough, that made me feel better...

Then, as I was leaving work this afternoon I had a phone call from a job agency that I haven't spoken to in 4 month to see how my job's going because they'd had a job come in that would be perfect for me.

Spooky, huh?

I've looked at the spec, quite like it, and sent off my CV.

I can't help thinking that it's a good sign?!

Mum Sick

Ever since my mum came to visit, just over a week ago, I've been really mum sick. It's something that's happened, intermittently, since I moved away from home.


It's not homesickness, because I love the house Mr B and I have, and wouldn't want to go back to the where I lived before.


But I really miss my mum. To the point that I just want to curl up in a ball and have a little weep.

 Me and my Mummy
xxx

It's been a long time since I last felt like this - in fact, I don't think I've felt like this since just after Mr B and I moved in together.

I think it's because, last weekend, my mum and I had a really lovely time together, and it was just the two of us. Mr B was away for the whole weekend, my brother wasn't around, and there were no other interruptions - just me and my mummy.

It also doesn't help that I feel so unsettled and, in all honestly, unhappy, at my work, either. I just don't have anything to keep me smiley (other than Mr B, but that goes without saying!).

Luckily, I get to see mum again soon. In fact, really soon - she has an operation on the 26th May, and I'm going to stay with her for a week at the beginning of June and help her out a bit.

Needless to say, I think by the end of that week, Mum Sickness will definitely have gone!!

I did it!

So, I stuck to my plan at the chinese this evening and ate:

• Vegetable Soup [and a sneaky vegetable spring roll!]
• 2 Crispy duck pancakes
• Stir Fry Bean Sprouts [and a sneaky spoonful of Singapore Noodles!]
• Chicken in Black Bean Sauce

I drank green tea and water.

Over all, considering the amount of food that was there (chicken and cashew nuts with yellow bean sauce, egg fried rice, chicken and mushrooms, barbecue spare ribs, crispy seaweed...)

Feeling quite smug!

Birthday Celebrations

No, not mine!

Mr B's mum is 65 today, so we're off out for dinner this evening. Chinese, which just happens to be my favourite.

Shame, because I'm on a diet and won't be going for the usual (singapore noodles with chicken and cashew nuts in a yellow bean sauce, in case you wondered!), but instead will be having soup, chicken in black bean sauce and bean sprouts.

I'm not sure that the black bean sauce is a good choice, but it's as good as I can get, having looked at the menu already. I'm going to try to be as good as I can, because I don't want to ruin my week by going all guns blazing at the chinese.

I think, if I step away from the carbs, I should be ok, diet wise.

Finger's crossed, anyway!

Weekly Weigh In

I weighed in yesterday.

4 weeks in, and the aim was to have lost half a stone. I had a 4lb gain last week, which I thought had messed me up with regard to the target.

BUT!

I'd lost 4lbs this week!

That takes me back to what I was before my gain, which is

HALF A STONE LOST!

Very happy and excited, and more determined than ever to keep at it! Whoop for me!

Whoop whoop!

I weighed in on Friday and I'd gained 4lbs. I completely understood why (I'd gone on a bit of a carb binge!), but was disappointed none the less.

I knew the weekend was going to be tough because mum was here, so "wrote off" Saturday as a bad day, and got back on the wagon on Sunday.

I sneakily weighed in when I got home from work this evening, and was over the moon to find that, at 5pm on Monday I weighed exactly the same as I'd weighed at 6.45am on Friday, despite the naughties that I ate on Friday and Saturday.

So, I'm positive that if I keep on track I can lose the 4lbs I gained last week, and maybe even a bit more.

I learnt some good lessons by having a blow out, though:

• When I'm good, the weight comes off relatively easily, but when I'm naughty, even a little bit, it goes on really easily.
• When I stick at it, I feel MUCH better. I've been less bloated and sluggish, and I feel "lighter" today than I did yesterday / Saturday.
• If I stick at it, I can lose weight.

Lessons learnt, and resolve found!

Wonderful Weekend

This weekend was lovely. Mr B was away all weekend, so my mum came and spent the weekend with me.

We spent Saturday in London, mooching around Camden Market and Covent Garden.

Here's a couple of funny things we saw around the market....

Who knew a didgeridoo would make such a difference to your sex life?!

  

Defo!

I'd like to thank....

I don't think I (or my blog!) particularly qualify as stylish, but I'll take it!

There are rules to the award, though, and they are:

Rule 1 : thank the person who gave you the award, and link their blog in your post.

Big thanks to Helen at Raindrops and Roses for my first award!





Rule 2 : tell 7 things about yourself

OK, not sure what you'll all want to know, but here goes nothing!

1. This year Mr B and I will have been together 10 years.

2. My biggest ambition is to be a mummy.

3. I love spending time with my family.

4. Dirty Dancing is my favourite film.

5. I think there's something weirdly attractive about Tom Selleck.

6. I can lose hours with my nose in a book.

7. I can't resist a nice handbag! Rule 3 : Pass the award on to 15 deserved bloggers.

I love reading all of these blogs, and they definitely deserve this award!

An Experiment in Normality

Juliana at Juliana's PCOS journey

Kaitlin at Ah, My Married Life

The Sassy Infertile Lady

Jenna at Among the Blossoms

Michelle at No, I'm not fat, I'm pregnant

Nowhere near 15, but I tried!

I'll have a pint of...

Deep shaft, please!

Ick

I have no idea why, but I feel really nauseaus today. I've eaten, so it's not a hunger thing, and I'm drinking plenty so it's not that, either.

I didn't feel well yesterday morning either, but put it down to the fact that we'd been out to dinner the night before and I overate.

But, now it's the second day of my feeling like this, I can't help but get a little bit hopeful.

I've told Mr B that I'll see how I feel for the rest of the week, and test on Friday.

I know I got a BFN a couple of weeks ago, but as yet, I still haven't had sight nor sound of AF.

Finger's crossed, folks!!

Another two!

Today was weigh in day for me. This week hasn't been great - I'm expecting AF, so I've been eating anything and everything. So, yet again, I wasn't expecting miracles.

BUT

I lost another 2lbs!

That's half a stone in two weeks, which I'm more than happy with. In order to lose 4stoneby2012, I need to be losing 7lbs a month, so to have done the same amount in half the time is awesome!

I've got a new diet sheet for this week, too, so I'm excited about eating different things this week, which should help me keep on track.

Whoop!