One of the Joys of PCOS that really affects me is depression and mood changes.
To say my moods have peaks and troughs is probably one of the biggest understatements EVER! I seem to constantly live in a state of PMS, and poor Mr B rarely knows whether he's coming or going.
I've actually been diagnosed with depression twice - once 6 years ago, when Mr B and I were looking to buy a house and I was unhappy at work; and then again 2 years ago in the run up to our wedding - but I think I also had it in my second year at college back in 2002.
I have a good idea when things are getting bad, and I tend to be able to shake it off - either with a good cry, a bit of me time, or by getting to the gym and working it out of my system. But I do live in a constant fear that I'll end up ill again - that I'll end up taking pills, reliant on medical help to feel happy again.
And there is so much stigma linked with things like depression and mental health. Personally, I'll talk to anyone that wants to listen about my issues! It's a part of me, and what makes me tick. It's not always pretty and it's not always nice, but it's part of what makes me me. I don't want sympathy. I don't want mollycoddling, and I don't want to be pandered to, but I do want someone to listen, not judge me, and let me cry on their shoulder every now and then.
My moods are obviously affected by other things going on around me. At the moment, for example, I'm having a bit of a tough time. I feel lonely. I feel like I'm a disappointment to Mr B and my family. I feel like I'm letting myself down with my diet. I miss my family.
But I know it all boils down to the fact that I'm not happy at work. So, in turn, I know that if I fix that, a lot of my other "issues" will sort themselves out.
And, in the meantime, a bloody good cry helps, too!