If it meant that I worked in a supermarket stacking shelves in order for us to have enough money to pay the mortgage, that's what I'd do.
The agency lied.
That said, the money is good, and the perks are amazing. But there's no responsibility, and I know that when I leave at 4.45 every evening, I won't think about or stress over anything. Hell, I hardly think or stress over anything while I'm there, so I'm definitely not going to do it when I'm at home!
The trouble is, I don't care enough. I don't care if the order has been fulfilled properly. I don't care if the delivery has arrived, and whether the stock that's delivered is the right stuff or not.
So now I'm thinking that I need to change jobs. Again.
But I don't know what to.
The difficulty is that most people make their career choices when they're between 16 and 18. I had no idea what I wanted to do at that age. I hardly have any idea what I want to do now, if I'm honest! Mr B, on the other hand, knew he wanted to be an accountant. So, he left school, got a job at an accountancy firm, studied for his exams and has been really successful at what he does. He's been doing it for over 20 years. He enjoys it. He has a career.
I never made a career choice at that age. I think that some of that comes from the fact that I was diagnosed with PCOS at the same sort of time. From the point of diagnosis (or more accurately, from the point of being told that I might never have children) my sole ambition has been to be a mummy. Everything else - work, social life, everything - was all just a stop gap between then and me getting pregnant.
So I didn't go to university. I didn't specialise in any particular sort of job. I've worked in a shop, a post room, in telesales for a newspaper, as an office manager for a team building company, and now as a
I don't even know what my magic wand job would be.
But I do know:
- I want to be challenged
- I want what I do to matter
- I want to deal with PEOPLE, not faxes and emails (although I happy to have a telephone between me and said people!)
- I want to use my brain
- I want progression - I'd like to end up managing people - helping other people achieve what they want to achieve makes me feel happy