Hot, hot, hot!

The weather for the past couple of weeks has been glorious.

I'm not going to moan about the weather, because all too often the weather is absolutely rubbish.

I am, however, going to moan about my office.

It's currently 30 degrees in the office, and the "air con" we have is on. By that I mean that the windows have been open since I arrived in the office at 7.15 this morning.

I am sweaty and horrible, and it's not a good look for the office.

At all.

Thankfully, I'm not the only one in such a state. BUT I am the only fat one, and there's no way I'd get away with the vest top and shorts look that the skinny girls are rocking at the moment.

Instead I'll just baste in my own juices.

Sexy!

Personally, I prefer tomato...

I hate doing the food shopping. It's one of the jobs that Mr B usually does on his own, but yesterday I went with him. The highlight was seeing this - it really made me chuckle. It went downhill from there....

I also realised yesterday that I hate summer. Not necessarily the weather, but the fact that girls walk around in shorts that are smaller than the underwear I have. It makes me so mad! It's not helped by the fact that I'm totally self conscious at the moment, too - I feel huge, and can't find anything to wear that looks remotely nice.

Fffff FRIDAY!

I am SO glad that Friday is here!

This week seems to have gone on for a long time, so I'm very pleased it's over. And, to make a change, we have a pretty busy weekend, too!

Mr B and I are heading out this evening. It's a bit of a sorry-you-didn't-get-the-job meal, combined with an excuse for us to have a night out together. We're nipping home briefly to get changed, but I won't have time to get showered and made up, which is a shame, cos I'll end up feeling scummy after a day at work... I can't have it all, though!

Tomorrow I'm meeting my friend B, who I haven't seen in a loooonng time for lunch and then in the evening going to the in-laws for dinner. They're always inviting us for dinner, and I always find and excuse to put it off (that's a story for another day, though). Apparently, I can't put it off any longer - 6 months is too long! (Whatever. When was the last time we had dinner with my folks?!

Sunday Mr B will be watching the footy (I'm headed to the gym. England Vs Germany pretty much guarantees an empty gym!) and I'm cooking up a storm ready for the week ahead.

I'm quite excited about the weekend, actually...

Hope you've all got something exciting planned!
x

ERM...

Just a quick point about the below post...

I didn't mean for all the text to be different sizes.

Nor did I mean for the centralised stuff to be rubbishly spaced.

Why does Blogger do that? Does it just do it to me?

Anyway - sorry, I know it makes it poo to read.

And thanks - y'know, for reading.

Oh, and sorry that it's generally crap!

xx

A quick catch up

It's been a week or so since my last post. I think that's the longest I've gone

without a post unless I've been on holiday.

I don't really know why, either - I don't think the novelty has worn off...

I've certainly looked at it every day and thought "I really should post", but haven't

felt I've had much to say!

It's not much different this evening, in all honesty, except I'm bored of job hunting,

and need a little rant. Mr B's probably taken more than his fair share of ranting

over the past week or so, so you guys get it now!

Job hunt I have been (and continue to be) totally pissed off with my work for a while now, and although I've applied for lots, I haven't been successful in getting too many interviews so far. I was, however, invited to an interview with a company who had found my CV online. I thought that was a good sign straight off! The interview was last Thursday, and it went really, really well. I got on with them both really well, and the job was great - different enough from what I'm doing at the moment for it to be a challenge, but near enough for me to know what I was supposed to be doing. And only half an hour from my house. They said they'd let me know by Tuesday lunchtime at the latest.
I tried not to get too excited about it over the weekend, but really did think I had it in the bag. It wasn't meant to be, though - I got an email on Monday evening saying I'd been unsuccessful. I was gutted. Totally deflated. It wasn't anything I'd done, so that's positive, but the search starts again...

Diet. Well, that's gone out of the window! I've had a real craving for carbs for the past few days, and, unfortunately, I've succumbed to it. Stupid Mrs B! I was thinking about it today on the way home from work, and realised that it's pretty sad that I don't really have any photos of me on my honeymoon with Mr B. I was so self conscious, I would only let him take head and shoulder photos of me, and I've forbidden him from showing anyone any of the ones he snuck of me full length. I'm so embarrassed that I've let myself get so fat again, yet can't seem to do anything about it. I'm lazy and pathetic. What's it going to take for me to get off my arse and do something about it!?

Family My mum rang me in tears earlier in the week... She's broken up with her boyfriend (that's a really weird phrase to use when you're referring to your mum. She wasn't dating a boy, he was a man. Although, based on his maturity levels...) of 2 and a half years.
I really struggled with finding the appropriate reaction for that one - on the one hand I'm sorry for my mum, and I really don't want to see her sad and upset.
On the other, I wanted to jump for joy. I have never liked him, and have always thought she could do, and definitely deserved, better. This is the guy that took her to McDonalds for their first date. The drive thru - they didn't even sit in the "restaurant". I should also point out that he's 38, not 18, so there's no part of his brain that should've thought that was a suitable first date location. Equally, there's no part of her that should've accepted it, either.
I'll give her a couple of weeks to pull herself together, and then maybe the tough-love will come out...

Everything else...

England got through to the second round of the World Cup today, apparently.

This means that I've lost Mr B for at least 90 minutes on Sunday, and probably for a week or so after, while he's following what's going on. Brilliant - time with my hubby wiped

out.

I had a period. Whoop! (Have I mentioned that already? Maybe, I don't remember). Four weeks after the last one, 14 days after ovulation. Awesome. I'm tracking my temperature again at the moment, and hoping to ovulate again later this week. Mr B and I are... "on it"!

Work is (obviously, from what I've said above) rubbish. I'm being totally patronised, and I'm starting to get holes in my tongue because of how much I'm having to bite it. I'm ready to walk, but can't afford to.

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me... Laters!

Boo!

I didn't win the tickets.

Never mind - I'm sure there's plenty of other bargains just waiting to be had...!

Behind the times!

I know I'm about 10 years too late getting in to it, but I'm loving Ebay at the moment!

I've never really done it before - but I've really got in to it in the last month or so.

I bought some super-cheap OPK and HPTs from a seller on there, but I've ended up buying another coouple of things along the way, too.

I bought a vintage Suzy Smith bag which was delivered to my inlaws today. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm very excited to get it tomorrow (Mr B's going to fetch it while I'm at my interview, so that'll be a nice treat!), I bought a book that should be here soon, and I'm currently "watching" 2 Bon Jovi tickets for next weekend. That will be my biggest purchase, so I'm a bit nervous, but I gotta try, right?

Mr B and I have a shed load of things we want to sell on there too, so we're going to start doing that, too. In fact, I'm going to add that to my list...

Any tips would be great!!!

x

Grr!!

Well, today's been a mixed day!

After 6 months of request / refusal / request / refusal, I was finally allowed to work from home today.

One of the directors made it particularly difficult for me to do so, and this morning I was told that, at the end of the day, I'd need to be able to "impress" him with what I've achieved.

WTF is that all about!? I've worked there for nearly 5 years, and they can't trust me to work from home effectively once in a while?

So, what did I achieve?

Well, amongst other things, I drafted my letter of resignation and arranged an interview for myself on Thursday. Ha! That'll fucking teach em.

Good day!

Today has been a good day!

I did the ironing (boring!!) first thing, cooked a few meals to freeze for later in the week, and, most importantly I went to the gym!!!!
I really wasn't all that keen on going, but Mr B convinced me that it would make me feel better if he went. He was right! I was exhausted, but felt really chuffed with with myself.

Then, after dinner I headed into the garden with my new camera, and took some pictures. I love spring time, and I love our flowers. I just hate gardening!!

Change of Scene

I was getting bored with the old layout, so changed to this one... I'll more than likely get bored again before too long, though...

Anyway.

After saying I'd forgiven myself and would be back on track with the diet, it turns out that hasn't happened.
I've actually been really fricking bad with it. I will start tomorrow, though, and I'm heading to the gym in the morning.

I'm home alone at the moment - hubby's at his brother's watching the World Cup. It's the first England match, apparently... I really have no interest in the football!

I was supposed to be at home in Northants this weekend, visiting my friend, but this morning when I woke up I couldn't be bothered. Just couldn't be bothered to make the hour and a half journey. I feel really down today, in fact. I just couldn't be bothered with anything.

Anyway, once I'd lied to my friend about why I couldn't be there (which I hate myself for, don't worry!) I felt much better. I watched a film (or two) and then cooked some dinner. I haven't eaten said dinner, but I will be able to freeze it, and it'll be 2 meals for Mr B and I will have 2 meals in the week.

Finger's crossed I'll start to feel better soon.... maybe the gym tomorrow will help!

Right on Time!

After charting my temperature, changing my diet, and symptom spotting like mad, I'm very excited that
AF ARRIVED THIS MORNING!!

CD30, 14DPO. That's "normal"!

It's weird that someone trying for a baby would be excited by the arrival of a period, but having a cycle is, in itself, pretty exciting for someone with PCOS!!

I don't know how many more times I'll be excited by my period arriving - I'm hoping to be excited by a BFP next month - but for now, I'll enjoy it!

Off the wagon...

So with all the excitement of my brother being here and going out (and having a few drinks!) over the weekend, I've sort of fallen off the GI wagon.

Which is frustrating.

I'm totally feeling it, too. Yesterday after work I ended up falling asleep on the sofa for 2 hours. Something I haven't done since I started GI three (or so) weeks ago.

I also haven't been back to the gym since that one random Sunday morning, and I'm starting to get p!$$ed off with myself over that, too.

SO. I'm going to get back on the wagon, and see how I do. I lost 5lbs in a week, and the chances are I've put them back on over the weekend. I'm crap.

But, you gotta live. I am officially forgiving myself for the weekend, and starting over.

What a weekend!

My brother came to spend the weekend with us, to celebrate his birthday.

When he arrived yesterday and he was a little bit worse for wear so we chilled out around the house a bit. We went out quite early and had dinner and a few drinks (his light-weight big sister got more drunk than she expected. Much quicker than she expected, too!) before coming home and drinking some more, before crashing out.

We had another lazy day today, before he decided it was time for him to go home... but couldn't find his car keys. He found, them, eventually. In the ignition of his car. With no real way of getting them.

He has a spare set, but they were at home. An hour and a half away. I suggested that maybe someone could either bring them here, or half way to meet Mr B.

There was no-one he could think of. My dad wouldn't do it - he had some lame-ass excuse. My mum's boyfriend wouldn't do it - it's not his problem. And his "friends" won't come for him, despite the fact that he has, on many an occassion, done similar things for them.

We tried breaking in to the car with a wire coat hanger, but it turns out that that's not as simple as it looks on the movies, and none of us had enought of a mis-spent youth to really know what we were doing!!

Eventually, we decided that the only way around it was for Mr B to take him all the way home, pick up the spare keys, and bring him all the way back so that he can drive home. That's a 3 hour round trip for Mr B. It's by no means ideal, and my brother felt really bad, but it was the only way. So, they're on the return journey now.

Since they've left, I've sat and had a little cry. It breaks my heart that, in his time of need, he didn't have anyone that he could call on. No-one that would come for him.

My brother's had a really tough time lately. He got into trouble a while back, and after over a year of court appearances and goodness knows how much stress, he was charged with affray in January 2009. He was given a 2 year suspended sentence, community service and probabation that finishes in January 2011.

But, because of all of the court appearances, he lost the job he had with a carpentry firm. And, it turns out, employers are reluctant to take on someone with a criminal record. I think that he suffered with depression for a while, too.

I'd like to say that my mum was super supportive. But she wasn't really. She was quite naggy and negative with him because he didn't have a job. Whenever i ask how he is / how he's getting on, she only ever gives me negative feedback. She didn't tell me that he's applied for quite a few jobs. She didn't tell me that he's having a test on Tuesday because he needs a certain card thing so that he can get a job. And she didn't tell me that he's actually been pretty fricking messed up about the fact that he owes quite a lot of money to quite a few people. (Me being one of them. I know I'm good for it, though.)

I also feel bad for him because it turns out his 21st birthday was pretty fucking shite. He spent the day in his room, playing Xbox. Nobody came round. Nobody made an effort. Two of our aunties didn't even acknowledge his birthday (no surprise, none of them acknowledged my wedding!!). And the presents he got were pretty fucking lame, too.

It breaks my heart that nobody seems to make an effort for him. I don't even understand why. I love him, so very much, and wish I could wave a magic wand and get him a good, stable job, pay off his debts and get him on his feet.

In the meantime, I'll make him some dinner when he gets back here, and hope he gets home ok tonight!!

xx

Happy Birthday!

My "little" brother is 21 today.

I can't believe he's 21! I still remember going to see my mum and my brand new brother in the hospital when he was born! And, I remember my mum being so big when she was pregnant with him that I thought she was going to have a baby elephant, not a baby boy!!

We used to fight like cat and dog when I lived at home. But, since I moved out, we've gotten on a lot better. I actually miss him if I don't see him for a long time. That's not something I EVER anticipated!

He's had a rough couple of years, because of one thing or another, which has meant he's had to do quite a lot of growing up quite quickly. But he's handled everything really well. I love him, and I'm very proud of him, too.

x

Holiday...

So, I'm bored in the office, and a bit p!$$ed off, too, so I decided to put some pictures from our holiday...

Giraffes in the Masai Mara... their colour is so much more vivid than in a zoo (which is the only other time I've seen a giraffe)








Week 2 accommodation at the beach retreat. I loved it. The best part? The morning we were woken up by monkeys running across the canvas. Cheeky little... monkeys?!






Much as we wanted to spend as much time as possible under these, the coconuts landed pretty hard on the ground, and we didn't like the idea of them landing on our heads!

Common sense!?

OK, so I am desperately looking for a new job.

I've applied for lots and heard nothing back.

Last night, though, I applied for a job and had a response within the hour. Asking me to an interview!

YAY!

BUT! They want me there at 1.30pm on Friday afternoon. That's the middle of my working day. How do I explain that to my current employers!? I asked if there was any chance that he had time later in the day...

The only other time he's prepared to offer me is 3.30pm. Cos that helps.

Do people really not think?

Dammit!

It was looking very much like I was going to manage a less that 1500 calorie day today.

Then we stopped at the supermarket on the way home, and I got a chocolate bar. I had inhaled it (literally, I didn't even think about it) before I looked at the calorie content. It was over THREE HUNDRED CALORIES!!!!

WTF?!!! That's more than I ate for my lunch. In one bar of chocolate.

Dammit!

Why...?

Do people wear hardly any clothes to come to the office, and then complain that it's cold and put the heating on when everyone else is fine because we've dressed according to the weather?

It annoys me!