"You're quite lucky there, then..."

When I went to visit my dad and his wife at the weekend, they asked about whether Mr B and I had any holiday plans for this year.

That seemed like the right time to explain that, at the moment, we're not making any holiday plans for this year because we're having fertility tests and we don't know what's going to be going on. (Side note - this isn't us "putting life on hold", this is us not wanting to commit to an expensive holiday later in the year if there's a possibility I might be up the duff and not want to travel. That said, it's not looking likely that that will be the case this year, so we're probably going away after all. That's a whole different story, though...)

My dad and his wife are aware that I have PCOS, but I'm not sure they really understand what it means. I've talked to them about it before, and my dad at least seems to understand that being a mum is something that I really want, and I'd love nothing more than to make him a Grandad.

My dad's wife, on the other hand, is pretty awful. We don't get on - not just in a wicked step mother way - she's genuinely not a very nice person and I wouldn't get on with her whatever. In fact, I wouldn't chose to spend time with her if it weren't for my dad.
She doesn't have any children of her own, and apparently doesn't have a maternal bone in her body. She is, quite frankly, weird and insensitive, and doesn't really "get it".

I explained that, while we knew about my PCOS and that being a problem, Mr B had to be tested, too, and until we knew what route we'd have to take (and ultimately how much it might cost) we didn't want to commit to an expensive holiday.

At which, she said "Is that what you think it is, then - this PCOS". I said "Well yeah, we know that's having an effect. I'm pretty sure I'm not ovulating, and only have 4 or 5 periods a year, so...".

Her reply? "Well, you're quite lucky there, then".

I looked at her and tried to get my head round what she'd said. Had she really been as stupid to suggest, after I'd just told her we were having fertility tests done, that I was quite lucky. Apparently yes.

I turned to her and said "What, you mean lucky that I don't have many periods? Yeah, I guess I am. Except it means my body isn't working properly and I can't have the baby that I want. So, not really that lucky after all. Idiot".

I expect insensitive comments from people, but sort of assumed that it would be "outsiders" making them.

I was wrong....

1 comment:

  1. How insensitive of your dad's wife to say that. She clearly doesnt understand PCOS at all and the complications it can cause when it comes to fertility, and even when you are not trying for a baby it affects you. We haven't been on a holiday in years, and I must admit I do think the same way as you when it comes to them. I've just had a HSG and been told on top of PCOS, both my tubes are blocked and the only chance of conceiving is IVF, which they will only fund 1 cycle. After that we will have to pay for it. Money is always playing on my mind. Seems so unfair that people who don't have fertility problems can save for their baby, we will probably be skinted making them.

    Chin up! x