I'm not going to apologise (again) for my lack of posts of late - it doesn't seem to make much difference, does it?!
I can't believe it's the 8th December already - where has 2013 disappeared to!?
The past few weeks have been tough - I still haven't really spoken to my dad, so I'm not sure what's going on with that; one of my oldest friend's marriage has broken up - just over a year since the wedding; and my little brother finally admitted last week that he's depressed.
This past week, in particular, has been an emotional one, and I've cried more tears than is healthy for anyone to cry.
I'm so sad for him, and can't help feeling like I've let him down. I thought we were close enough that he would speak to me about how he was feeling, and I'm hurt that he's been sad for so long (he's said since school, and he's 24 now) and didn't feel he could talk to me.
The sensible side of my brain knows that, when I was feeling like that, I didn't want to tell anyone, either. But the big sister side feels that I should've known that he wasn't happy and helped him.
I feel like I've failed him, which also isn't helped by his reluctance to speak to me this week. I'm consoling myself with the fact that he's talking to my mum, and she's talking to me, but it would be nice to speak directly to him and see how he's getting on.
I'm leaving the ball in his court, though - he needs to feel comfortable talking to me, and I've sent him a couple of messages re: giving me a call. When he's ready, he will.
I hope.
